Why I Love Crappy Shark Movies

So I have a not so secret confession to make. I absolutely LOVE crappy shark movies. Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, Swamp Shark, Super Shark, Sand Shark, Two Headed Shark Attack- I have seen them all and I love them all.  Tonight, Sharknado premieres on SyFy, and in honor of this wonderful event I thought I would talk about why these horrible, predictable movies are so amazing to me.

I'm currently watching Sharktopus, which as a SyFy Original you know is gonna be good. This lady just almost got attacked by a shark in the water, but she was saved when a giant shark-octopus hybrid controlled by the government attacked that shark. I have a feeling sharktopus is going to get out of government hands and start attacking innocent beachgoers- not because I read the info on the show, but because these movies are just that predictable (and as I was typing this paragraph, sharktopus did indeed escape its government equipment).

I also feel like the guy who created sharktopus is going to die, but not until the end of the movie. Whoever is responsible for unleashing the shark upon unsuspecting partying beachgoers always gets their comeuppance. That's pretty much the number three rule of shark movies, and it's a great rule because so many people die in these movies that it's great to have some closure on that front.

The number two rule of shark movies is there are always hot people who have to battle the sharks. Most movies are set during spring break or some sort of town festival where there are plenty of attractive young people in bikinis- a group of these partiers generally has to fight to escape the sharks. There's also generally an overly attractive shark scientist. Currently, a shark fighter is trying to hit on the surprisingly brunette shark scientist who he said has a "sexy librarian vibe." In Sand Sharks, we were supposed to believe that Brooke Hogan was a top shark scientist. It was as completely ridiculous as the movie's premise.

That's the number one rule of shark movies- the premise has to be completely, absolutely ridiculous. In Sand Shark, the sharks swam not in water, but in sand. In the fabulous Super Shark, the giant shark could actually walk on its hind fins and attacked people on land. I don't think I really need to explain Two Headed Shark Attack and Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. They're the absolute worst premises and that makes for the absolute worst best movies.

Tonight's Sharknado promises all of that and more. It stars Tara Reid and the plot revolves around several tornados attacking the Los Angeles area. The tornados are filled with sharks who will be attacking beach goers and innocent city dwellers. With such a ridiculous premise, there's absolutely no way that Sharknado won't be the best movie of the year.